关键词:
Therapy
Music
Performing arts
摘要:
This paper is an investigation into my creative process involving feedback. I delve into this topic through a cybernetic systems framework in combination with a psychoanalytic approach to consciousness theory. I demonstrate that the way I relate to the feedback system provides a platform for ways of relating to the emotional self, in that both systems activate a space between control and non-control to navigate. First, I discuss feedback systems from an historic and theoretical standpoint, and then focus on my work and the system I built and use in performance. Second, I introduce Antonio Damasio’s theory of consciousness, and identify similarities between what Damasio refers to as “core consciousness” and the feedback system. I also discuss core consciousness through the lens of trauma theory, which further implicates issues of the self in relation to its emotions and its environment. In the final section, I discuss Eliane Radigue’s early work with feedback in order to recount my experience listening to work where presence and control are essential, and determine the way the artist listens. My relationship with the feedback system involves two primary modes of activity: focused listening and informed action. I discuss how approaching my core self with the same tools of approaching the feedback system leads to strength in emotional regulation. Operating within this territory in my creative process exercises the vital muscles of being out of control, and implicates the boundary of self and environment/other, positioning me in a space ripe with the potential for newfound agency and self-knowledge.